imabitch

And it bleeds
Floor filled with droplets of blood.
Blood dripping slowly down my face.
Now dried and hard to come off it seems.
Both from my face and the floor it is.
Bleed.
Bleed.
And..
Bleed.


SCARS it is.
And..
SCARS it seems.


Only shakeit knows.


Argh.
It hurts.
I'm totally vexed.
Totally tired.

I love my family.
Yes, i do.

Just that.
I love them so much
that it hurts.

Why me?
Why has it always
have to be me?

They're never happy.
Even if i give them
the BEST.

I keep trying to please them, make them
happy, to satisfy them, but am i happy?

I am at the point where
i'm seriously tired, and
really feel like giving up.

Yet on the other hand,
another actually thought
i cried cos of some stupid band
a few days ago. and w/o finding
out the real reason as to why
i had cried, confronted me abt it.
But, well, I totally give up.
I can't be bothered either.


Now.
How ironic it seems that
the ones who actually hurt you
the most would actually be non other
than your loved ones; Your family.

I love my family.
At the same time,
they have hurt me the most.

Especially today.
I'll never forget that.


And so,
SCARS it is then.


Thanks shakeit.
For being there.
Appreciate it much.

posted by stacey @ Friday, July 22, 2005 0 Comments

It hurts;
Giving up AND
Saying goodbye.

BUT, even if i dont do it NOW.
I still have to do it LATER.

THANKS for all the LOVE and SUPPORT
you'll have given to me, SHAKEIT,
PINKY, PARTNER, PRESTY, DOTT,
DONN, ALLY, NAT, LIZZY, EVAN,
JASPER and anyone i've missed out.

I will never forget you'll.
BUT, I just feel i have to
start accepting the fact
that its NO longer the same
anymore.

And it never will be.

It hurts.
Real bad.
But i have to do this.
Sorry shakeit.

But i'll still be here for you'll as promised.
My one most wish i've been hoping for is,
seriously, talking to you again.
Even a HI or a BYE is good enough.
Another two months til all of you'll
are gone.

Its been almost seven months since
we last spoken. But its just so
HARD. Mistunderstandings after
misunderstandings.

Piling up one after another.
We never cleared them.
It dragged on for months.
How much longer is it gonna drag for?

I hope you do realise
that I treat you as
a friend, nothing more
to that. SERIOUSLY.
You may NOT belief
me but its the truth.

As for the band;
I'M SORRY FOR THE TROUBLES CAUSED.
I'm sorry i keep forgetting to bring it.
It was definitely NOT deliberate.
Think whatever you want.

Anyways.
I know.
Theres just noway we'll be
talking again. And i also
dont wanna try anymore.
Yes you hate me,
BUT I DONT.

I still regard you as my DOTT.
For that, i am certain.

I havent even beeen to your
blog for such a fucking long time.
Cos whatever you say about me.
FUCKING HURTS.

Its far from what i imagined.

Tears while typing this entry.
I just feel so FUCKED UP.
In school, at home,
EVERYWHERE.

It hurts so bad.
SO BAD.

Holding onto the hurt
i felt ever since
i got back my end
year results last year.

Noone understands.
Noone will understand.
Unless they go through it.
Unless they go through it.

I feel so LOST.
I need direction.
I dont wanna try nomore.
I just feel like giving up
and quiting school.
I wanna run away
and never come back.

RIGHT NOW.
Its possible.
I WANT TO DO IT.
NOW.

I need somebody to talk to.
and the best person i can
think of is SHEILA.
I dont know why BUT
HELP SHEILA!
If you actually
do read this.


In the years to come
Will you think about these moments that we shared
In the years to come
Are you gonna think it over
And how we lived each day with no regrets
Nothing lasts forever though we want it to
The road ahead holds different dreams for me and you

Sometimes goodbye though it hurts in your heart is the only way for destiny
Sometimes goodbye though it hurts is the only way now for you and me
Though its the hardest thing to say
I'll miss your love in every way
So say goodbye
But don't you cry
Cause true love never dies

I'll never forget you'll.
Sorry i have to do this.

posted by stacey @ Saturday, July 16, 2005 0 Comments

These few days have been good.
On the way home earlier.
I sat next to this really small
ACS Primary boy in the bus.
He fell asleep, and i ended
up having his head on my shoulders
all the way til i reached home.

His head kept going here and there,
up and down, to and fro. It was
hilarious, at the same time, cute.
But i just continued listening to
my MP3 anyways :D

Anyways. School has been good too!
Went for training yesterday. Really
had fun especially with my DATE around.
We were practically playing and laughing
throughout the whole training. Mr Tan
with his funny names for me. Seems like
he calls me a different name every week.
Haha.

And at the rate Yusoff decides NOT to turn
up for every single SS lesson, i am definitely
gonna fail my SS again. I wonder why Eugenia
Lee-Tan actually passed us to Yusoff.

Reminds me of my sec two days, when Yusoff was
form teacher. She was absent ALL THE TIME, that
majella, andrea and lynette actually took down
those days when she was absent and counted them.
Haha. Those were the GOOD OLD days.

Today was funny.
Three people decides to turn up in school
with SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS BOXERS!
They are ME, Sarah and Nat.
Hahah! :D


Saturday was DAD'S birthday! It was GREAT! :D
Mom treated us (The sisters, aunties, grandaunt
and DAD) dinner at some high class restaurant which
she had booked. So as a result, I wore a dress.
Yes, a dress. Havent been wearing dresses for a really
long time. Definitely felt weird.

Gave DAD his present from the three of us (The sisters)

The card, a packet of 50 folded hearts, and a CD.
He liked it! :) Well, the thought counts.


The inside of the card;



The packet of hearts;



And finally, the CD;
His all time favourite..

KENNY G! :D

After which DAD drove us all to the esplanade
for a nice good stroll. By the time we reached
esplanade, it was about eleven plus. Left around
twelve thirty. All in all, i had fun! Truckloads
of fun! Took truckloads of pictures. They'll be
up soon on the photoblog! (:

_________________________________________________

Oh and before i leave and forget!
EVERYONE! Here's my photoblog!
http://thephotos-.blogspot.com

posted by stacey @ Tuesday, July 12, 2005 0 Comments

Just came back not long ago
From SHAKEIT'S grandfathers wake.

PRESTY, PINKY, Carrie, Evan, Han Khee and I.
We get high on PEANUTS.
Yes, PEANUTS!

The Oh dear club has increased.
Started out with;
Carrie - Oh dear me!
SHAKEIT - Oh dear my!
Me - Oh dear ah!

AND NOW!
We have new members!
PINKY - Oh dear oh!
Han Khee - Oh dear bea!
Evan - Oh dear dear!

HAHA.
Anyone else interested to join?

Today was GOOD.
I actually paid attention during lessons.
I didnt fall alseep.
WOW.

Mrs Kunna didnt come.
Two free Geog periods.
And i actually spent it wisely,
doing my maths homework.
WOW. Hahah!

Alright.
My hair's NO longer wet anymore.
Time to go to bed.
I'm tired.

But before I leave,
just wanna say..
I LOVE YOU SHAKEIT! :D
____________________________________

Oh! And!
I've got photoblog, which i'd
just created earlier! :D
Will give you'll the add tmr.

NIGHT THEN.

posted by stacey @ Friday, July 08, 2005 0 Comments

Please pray for Sab.
Her Op is tomorrow.
Thanks.

posted by stacey @ Tuesday, July 05, 2005 0 Comments

Hooray! :D
I love my new template.
I'm finally done with it.
It took me hours and hours.
BUT. I got it done.
And i am happy with it! :D
_______________________________


Anyways.
Today's been a good day.
After school, cabbed down
with my date to CCA-B.
To watch the C Div's
basketball match against
Guangyang Sec.

They won! They won! They won!
Proud of my juniors! :D
Good job guys.
_______________________________

Yesterday!
Shopping with The Sisters.
Fun, yes. BUT tiring.
Walked aimlessly around
town just to get a present
for dad's upcoming birthday.

All in all,
i've had my fun.

Now its time to study.
Bye.

posted by stacey @ Tuesday, July 05, 2005 0 Comments

YESTERDAY WAS FUN! :D
I had truckloads of fun.
Especially with the clique!
My clique!

Consisting of; shakeit, partner, pinky, nat, ally, donn, jasper, evan, lizzy, shayna.

Missing in action; PRESTY! :(

BUT OVERALL;
It was all good.
Youth Day celebations!
Started off with mass,
then to class to collect
some goody-like thingy.
Before i met my clique.
Took Truckloads of picures.

From Spiderman, to superman
to batman and all kinds of man!
Hahah!

Disco after which.
The loud music, various
dancers, the deejjayy,
the clique.

It just made everything
OH-SO-PERFECT! :D

Left at eleven plus for town
with shakeit, jasper and evan.
my PINKY stayed behind for
prac, but joined us later.

At town was where i got dressed
up by my one and only SHAKEIT.
Makeup and all it was for me.
Hahah. Definitely felt weird
since its been such a long time
i had those on.

Walked around town.
More photos taken.
Bought new earrings.
Took neoprints.

Oh yes.
I sure did have FUN!
________________________________________


TODAY;

Woke up at 6.15 in the morning
Thinking it was still too early.
Went back to sleep
Got up at 8.30

Jumped out of bed!
I was supposed to be at
bedok interchange meeting
my fellow basketballers
for CIP at 9.

Rushed like mad, just
to find out that deb woke
up late too. So basketballers
left for the centre w/o us.
Us refers to deb, mary and i.

Deb, maryanne and i met later.
About an hours late we were.
Woops.

The kids were so CUTTEEE!
Especially the small boy.
Am i right DATE?
Yes, my DATE, sherlyn
was there toooo! :D

Played games with them.
They were so happy!
It just felt GREAT.

After everything.
Gave them sweets and gummies.
Left for bedok interchange.
Had lunch with DATE, joan,
mary, deb, grace, sam all!
Before joan and i left for
toa payoh to meet jayne.

Pool it was.
At snooker zone.
Jayne's good, unlike joan and i.
I guess our hands are more
suited for basketball!
Right, joan?

Hahah. It was fun.
Truckloads of fun.
Did so many embarassing moves.
Both joan and jayne
just kept laughing away.
YES. laughing away.
Took truckloads of
pictures again.

Pictures shall be uploaded.

Soon this blog's gonna have a
password. I'll decide who's to
have it.

:D

_____________________________________

Thanks to the clique, especially!
For making my day! :D

ILOVEYOU'LL.
Simply cos;
w/o you'll, I AM NOTHING.

MWAH.


*Thank you for the venom.

posted by stacey @ Saturday, July 02, 2005 0 Comments